positive self-talk

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New ways to reduce impact of idealism in your life
In order to reduce the impact of idealism in your life, you need to follow these steps:
First: Identify in which life spheres your idealism creates problems for you. The life spheres are:
* Marriage or relationships with significant others
* Home life
* Parenting or child management
* School
* Work
* Community involvements
* Recovery program
* Friendships
Then for each life sphere follow the next steps.
Second: Identify the ideals, the "musts"' which create problems for you.
Third: Identify what controlling behaviors result from your idealism.
Fourth: Identify the non-productive or negative behavioral responses you receive or witness which arise from your idealism.
Fifth: Identify the irrational beliefs or perfectionistic tendencies at the base of each of your ideals which create the problems for you.
Sixth: Take each irrational belief, should, must do or perfectionistic tendency and identify a healthier, more rational and more realistic alternative substitute which will tone down your ideals.
Seventh: Do anger work and other emotional-release work to get your emotional and feelings life more integrated into your new, more rational, healthy and realistic thinking.
Eighth: Identify new, more politically reasonable, realistic and rational behaviors which will encourage your success and happiness in each life sphere.
Ninth: Implement the new, politically sound behaviors and monitor the effect they have on the people in each life sphere.
Tenth: Reward yourself for being more rational, realistic, healthy and politically sound, for your new, less idealistic behaviors. Use positive self-talk to remind yourself that:
* There is only one person in life you can change or control--you!
* You don't always have to be the most perfect, most ideal or best achiever in order to achieve success in life.
* Things don't always have to go your way in order for you to feel happy and successful.
* It is OK for you and others to experience failure or mistakes, It is not the end of the world.
* Perfection is not always possible in this lifetime. The only perfect being is God.
* It is OK to accept the political realities of life to survive around here.
* If it comes to the point where I can no longer survive around here, it would be healthier for me to leave the situation than to stay and be destroyed.
* If I stay around here knowing that it will eventually destroy me, then it is my own choice and I can no longer complain about it.
* It is better to keep my idealistic and perfectionistic attitudes to myself than to inflict them on others who have no desire to become like I want them to be. If I cannot live with this reality, then it would be better for me to leave the situation than to inflict others with my rigidity, irrationality, unhealthiness and over-controlling, "better-than-thou" attitudes.
* I am responsible for my own life and happiness. I am deserving of my efforts at making my ideals more realistic so that I can be successful around here.
Eleventh: Continue to implement more realistic, less idealistic and less perfectionistic behaviors in all of your life spheres. Continuously monitor how you are allowing your ideals to control your life and the lives of others.
Twelfth: If you fall back into an overly idealistic state in one or more of your life spheres, return to the first step and begin all over again.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com